Emotion : Unknown

You Don’t Know My Name

Mood:

Baby baby baby! From the day I saw you, I really really wanna catch your eye…something special bout you, I must really like you, not a lot of guys are worth my time…

🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

“The One”

Growing up, I always loved and admired the relationship between my favorite aunt and my only uncle (on my mom’s side). They were so loving and strong, care-free and spiritual at the same time. In my teens, and even to this day, I find myself looking to their relationship for guidance. What I truly adored was when my uncle would talk about how they met, so I decided to share that story with you. It’s so short, so sweet, and yet and still, so powerful, I believe that even the biggest non-romantic would be touched.

(In the narration of my uncle)

“I pulled up to the gas station and smoothly hopped out of my drop-top Chevy to get some gas. I thought I was so fly with my new car and my jerry curl (this was the 80s). I happened to look to the side and there she was. Baby hair pumpin, lip gloss was shining. I remember thinking to myself like ‘man, she got it’. I noticed she was letting up the hood of her car, so I went over to see if I could help because you know I’m good with cars, so I’m like yeeeea this is my chance to show off! Well I walked over there, cool calm and collected, and the only thing I remember is her smiling up at me with those bright white teeth. She had the prettiest smile I had ever seen. All she said was ‘Hi’ and I became lost for words, and at that moment I knew she was the one. Actually, I knew once she revealed that smile; it was so genuine and nice, and soft; she could have made me do anything with that smile. God told me she was the one, so of course I had to win her over with my jokes and charm. The rest was just all a part of God’s will.”

I remember being roughly 15 years old and thinking “wow, I hope God tells me when I find the one”, but now that I’m older, I think that I may have taken that story a little too literal. Like how do we really know if God is telling us that someone may be “the one”? How do we know it isn’t just our mind telling us that? Or will there be some sort of light around them, shining down on them, for clarification? Like how will we know? I think what my uncle meant was the feeling he got when he first saw her. Like God gave him this feeling that he was exactly where he was supposed to be at that time. God brought him to that gas station for that particular purpose. He could have easily stopped at any other gas station but he didn’t, and it just so happen that she needed help with her car, and he knows cars like the back of his hand. Some say coincidence, but I believe that it was God’s way of saying, ‘hey, here’s your wife, here’s your happily ever after, Her; that’s the one’.

In other news, I am still on my quest of finding “the one”. I find myself constantly being torn between these two thoughts: ‘be patient, God will bring him too you’ and ‘if you want somebody, you have to go out and find him’. I’ll figure it out one day. When it comes down to it, what’s meant to be, will be, right?

How do you guys feel about finding “the one”? Will you know once you see them? Will He let you know? Or will the one find you? #QuestionsThatNeedAnswers

…A Second Chance…

What if God gave us the opportunity to start over…the opportunity to meet someone for the very first time again. What would you say? What would you do? Would you jump at the thought of being given the chance to do things differently, and maybe, just maybe, you’d get it right this time? Or does the fear of consistent failure restraint you’re optimism?

Wouldn’t it be nice to be strangers again? Hi, I’d like to introduce myself…new stories. new memories. new laughs and new secrets. new smiles and new meanings for them. new cries and new meanings for those as well. Isn’t it exciting? Or are the memories that you currently harbor so surreal that no second chance is worth going for?

Met Gala 2015 a.k.a China: Through the Looking Glass

For those of you who aren’t aware, the Met Gala is like the fashion Grammy’s for celebrities. It’s like a Halloween party for the rich and famous. Celebrities are to focus on a given theme, and their outfits should be more like costumes, wearing whatever they feel best captures the essence of the night. This year’s theme was called “China: Through the Looking Glass”. Chinese inspired pieces and ensembles are what the celebrities should have been going for. Asian prints, beaded embroidery, high slits, long trains, origami geometric-shaped dresses & head pieces, and regal elegance are all concepts associated with Chinese fashion. Here’s some examples:

 

There’s no mistaking that this would be a fairly difficult task for celebrities to pull off, but it’s also very daring and risky and it’s a chance for them to show their true creativity. Looking at the history of chinese fashion, it is all about being bold and dramatic, from the dress/suit, to the hair, to the make up. With that being said, I took the time to analyze some of the best (or worst) dressed celebrities at the met gala this year, focusing on whether or not they did enough to exemplify the theme of the night, in which they will be labeled with the hashtags #TooMuch, #NotEnough, or #GotIt.

1. Mrs SJP herself, Sarah Jessica Parker. I honestly think she pulled it off, hands down! I mean the head piece is to die for, and her gown looks as if she could be featured in the Year of the Dragon. Silk, prints, and dragon flames. Oh, and a slit up the side showing off that gorgeous leg for days. I’d say #GotIt

2. And then this happened:

    I’m actually just a little disappointed. These three are known to be trend-setters and it just seems as if they’re following the trend this time around. All three look the same. How many times have we seen this look, the bare-it-all sheer? Not to mention there are numerous knock-offs, which makes the whole concept look cheap now. J’Lo’s embroidery sort of captures the theme, she also has train, and Kim and Beyonce’s train is the only thing that looks Chinese inspired on their bodies. Hair and make-up for all three is a no. Nice try, but #NotEnough

3. This lady has been slowly but surely being recognized as one of fashion’s most exciting risk takers. Yes you guessed it, none other than Miss Zendaya. The short puffer-flare and the long train is impeccable! Not to mention the traditional chinese print on her dress.  The colors are so elegant, she’s giving me a Chun-Li vibe. Easily, #GotIt 

4. Now, while I’m here for creativity and being different, Madonna took it a little off theme and could have actually toned it down. I mean the cut and the material of the dress is nice, but the leather gloves takes away from the elegance and the fact that she has “Rebel Heart” printed on it just takes me back to high school prom. Remember everyone was getting their names printed on the back or side of their dresses? She should ditch the words and put Chinese print or letters on it. I’m not here for this, Sorry Madonna, but you’re doing #TooMuch for this one

5. Last but surely not least, it was so hard to choose between these outfits and I absolutely loved them equally! Rihanna, Solange, Fan Bing Bing, and Zhang Ziyi all truly looked amazing and looked as if they could be featured in Chinese Vogue! No one had on anything like these four. Solange’s origami style dress screams Chinese couture, along with Fan’s original chinese prints, the type of prints you’d actually find in China art galleries. And Fan’s cape? *faints*. Rih’s headpiece and fur makes her look extremely elegant and royal, and adding the longest train on the carpet I think she takes the win this year! And of course Ziyi just looks so traditional. Like, it’s effortless for her. The simple red roses across the all white dress, with the traditional chinese high-neck line is so Old China-Sophisticated-Elegance. Simply off of being bold and making a statement while sticking to the theme, these four undoubtedly #GotIt

 So there’s just a few of the costumes I chose to analyze from this year’s Met Gala. I’m definitely looking forward to next year! What do you think the theme will be next? Whatever it is, I’m sure they’ll be some ensembles that really stand out (for good or bad) at the year’s biggest costume party of all time.

Mood over Matter

This is specifically for those ladies who are constantly told they are “crazy” or “bipolar” because they just so happen to have 3 different emotions in an hour (more than 3 you just might want to see a therapist). If you can feel extremely excited about a situation and then all of a sudden feel really bland about it, that is ok. You just may happen to be hypersensitive or a highly sensitive person. While attaining my psychology degree (I have a B.A. in Psychology), I remember taking these two classes, which turned out to be the two most interesting classes that I took and my personal favorite classes to this day: Theories of Personality and Social Psychology. In these classes, we had an entire chapter dedicated to mood swings. I remember reading it and thinking “wow this is so me, sometimes”. It was basically stating how some people think that being too moody or highly emotive is a disorder, when it’s not; however, there are advantages and disadvantages to having the capability to feel things so deeply. Advantages such as being able to pick up on any “mood” once you walk into a room quickly, and as far as disadvantages, it really depends on the level of sensitivity you have. A disadvantage can be having your feelings easily hurt, even over something as little as being told “no”, or becoming extremely upset/angry over the smallest situation, like for instance receiving constructive criticism from a boss, friend, etc, and in this case, both situations (and situations like these) can result in borderline depression disorder. But those are usually rare cases.

The real incentive of the section on mood swings, or at least what I personally took from it, was the declaration that being “moody” doesn’t mean you’re a drama queen, but that you should actually own up to having those mood swings, because what keeps one from falling into the disadvantages that being hypersensitive can cause, is first, being aware that you are highly sensitive, and second, being able to control your moods when need be.

Now ladies, we know what we are infamously moody for: love and relationships. So as a dedication to us, here are some ways to cope with our infamous mood swings, while dealing with or involved in an intimate relationship.

• Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take everything to heart. Every little bit of criticism from your mate isn’t meant to hurt you. There are some things you need to hear, for your own good. Maybe you are a bit too clingy, and if you are that is ok as long as you know you are. When you know you’re a clingy person, you’ll be ok when your lover tells you that he needs some time to himself because you already know you can be overbearing. That information won’t be news to you, it’ll be more like, ‘tell me something I don’t know’, right?

Now, it’s perfectly, normally, ok to feel a little hurt because no one wants to hear those words, but at the end of the day, knowing yourself will decrease the depth of how people’s words effect you.

• On the other hand, there will be times when you and your mate may have a heated argument, and when I say heated I mean cussing, yelling, calling each other names, etc. type of argument, but the situation isn’t so serious that you think it will lead to break up (that’s a different scenario, see ‘The Break-Up Method’ below). In these cases, the first thing you should think is “what would Jesus do?” 

Seriously, Jesus is like, the role model of all role models. He was the calm to every storm, as so you should be. Be the calm to your storm in your relationship. Be so calm, that it makes him look like he’s the crazed, overly-hysterical, “moody” person that you really are. Studies show that projecting certain emotions can actually make you feel those emotions, so if you’re projecting a more calm attitude you will start to feel calm, therefore being able to better manage your moods. Now I’m definitely not suggesting to not speak your mind, oh no honey, let that shit be known! But, express yourself in a way so subtle that he’ll (for the first time) feel and look stupid for blowing the situation out of proportion, because clearly you’re like ‘ok calm down baby we’re adults’, right?

• Last but not least, the goal for managing your moods is to know who you are right? So, if you know that your level of mood swings are on a level that can be mistaken for having bipolar disorder, meaning calm one minute and then snapping within the next 5 minutes over that same situation, my suggestion is to simply not put yourself into certain situations. Yes, you can never predict what is going to happen in your life, however, I do believe that there are some situations that you have control over. For example, if you know that ‘lurking’ on your mans social media accounts will lead to some type of argument, don’t do it! Instead, refer back to the previous message on thinking “what would Jesus do?”. Now, if you just so happen to accidentally come across some information that you think could possibly or even potentially lead to a break up, you should follow, what I like to call, The Break-Up Method:

Scenario: You found out that your man is cheating.

1. STAY CALM. Mastering the skill of portraying calmness is a key factor in this method, as it is what actually allows you to be able to pull this off. To conquer this, you can, again, refer back to thinking like Jesus.

2. Make him feel as comfortable as you portray to be. Don’t give him any impression that you are upset. To make it even more convincible, fix him a nice dinner, compliment and agree on everything he says, and just listen. You don’t wanna slip up and say something that could come off as sarcastic or confusing; remember, he doesn’t know you’re upset.

3. It’s Time. The wait is over. You now have him relaxed and feeling good about himself so now is the time to bring the situation to him, and when I say bring it, honey, I mean BRING IT. Not like the previous suggestions; no, I mean transform into fuckin SYBIL on his ass!

(Sybil)

Ladies, this is the one time where you are allowed, encouraged even, to commit to every single feeling and emotion that you’ve ever felt. Be sensitive. Cry, yell, throw things, whatever you need to do, by any means necessary, to make him feel every single inch of pain, hurt, and betrayal that you are feeling (p.s. this is just for laughs ladies, please don’t take me literally). As long as you feel good about yourself when you’re finished is all that matters. Idea!: Turn off the lights before you begin so that he can’t see you coming for him, also, wear all black, J’Lo in Enough style.

 

To end, I believe that there are just some “moods” that you cannot control, and thus, you shouldn’t have to. We as women are already inclined to be emotionally-unstable creatures, so for someone who is a highly sensitive person, you’re going to be labeled as crazy, bipolar, and always being told to “toughen up” or called a “drama queen”, and that’s ok. Not everyone will understand you because not everyone feels like you do. I think the main thing to focus on is knowing when to let your emotions or moods get the best of you and knowing when to let them roll off your shoulder. Focusing on how others will perceive you should be of your least concern, because at the end of the day, it’s really up to you to determine what’s important enough to get to you. So focus your energy and emotions on more positive things, and if you just so happen to feel a mood swing coming on, remember “What would Jesus do?” first.

X : 2015

In light of recent activities happening in our country, I will dedicate this post to help bring a new perspective (I hope) to every citizen witnessing what will become a historic part of American history.

If you have a television set I’m pretty sure you’ve seen footage of what’s happening in Baltimore, MD as I type. The community is rioting, and if you’ve seen the riots then you knows why. Rioting is a form of protesting, usually done when a group is fed up or extremely angry about the situation at hand. In this case, the situation is murder of an unarmed, far from dangerous, teenage boy by 6 police officers. Now, you tell me if this situation is an unjust reason to start a riot. But that’s another post. I want to shed light on the real reasons behind all of this, the real reasons why it is fuckin 2015 and the word “racism” still holds validity in our country, and why our country will forever face injustice.

First and foremost, there’s a reason why African-Americans were the only race to start out as inferior and later become seen as a threat. It is because we are powerful, smart, beautiful, etc. We come from kings and queens. Now of whites wouldn’t have known this when they dragged us over here (to their stolen land), but later began to realize how strong and smart we were. Hence even after slavery they still came up with ways to “portray” us as beneath them (jim crow laws, separate but equal laws, segregation, etc). This was for their ego. They needed to be reminded that they were still the “supreme being” which is still one of the problems today. Newsflash: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SUPREME “HUMAN” BEING. Human is what we ALL are; there is none greater, none smarter, or none stronger than the other, and your race definitely does not determine that, but hey what do I know I’m just a human. At the end of the day, unless we can accept the latter, there will always be a power struggle between us; it’s all about having power or being in charge. Our races are so similar and yet we’re so stupid to notice it. Ever heard the saying “when two people act too much alike they clash”? The Native Americans may have lost (no disrespect to them, one love) but we never backed down, and this is when they knew they’ve met their match. There is a post going around social media that basically sums it all up:

Narrated by a black guy

My white friend asked me, “why are you so skeptical all the time? I informed him because as a black man I have to work 10x as hard to be trusted wherever I go, no matter how qualified or innocent I am. He then replied, “do you know why other races are always so afraid of blacks? Because if what happened to your race would have happened to us we would have burned this country down by then, and we don’t know what day you’ll choose to do it”, and I don’t think I’ve ever been that speechless in my entire life…

And there you have it. What I don’t understand, is how can you fear something that you created? Instead of fearing us you should be proving to us why we should feel safe around you! You created this sense of uneasiness, it was instilled in us from slavery, to lynchings, to bombings, and then you have secret groups out here targeting blacks purposely, aka the KKK. Tell me again why we should easily trust? And this is definitely not targeting all whites, there’s clearly been progress made on some parts, but the issue is too prominent to ignore. And honestly, we shouldn’t have been brought over here, against our will, in the first place.

Karma’s a bitch.

Conclusively, I hope that I have shed light on the main reasons for what is happening in our country today. I’m not angry, nor am I bitter. I simply wrote this because some people tend to forget our history, and always like to think we are pulling the “race card”. We don’t want sympathy. What we want is justice! Equality! Two of the most foreign words in America, yet we claim to be “the home of the free”.  Free for who? In the words of MLK, when I am able to be judged, not by the color of my skin, but by the content of my character, then, and only then, will I consider myself to be free.

W.H.Y.D.F.Y.L? (whathaveyoudoneforYOUlately?)

Ladies, when was the last time you’ve paid attention to you? When was the last time you fed your wants and not just your needs? When was the last time you had a “whenever, wherever, whatever type of moment? With our world moving at several WTF’s per minute, we all to often get caught up in how hectic our lives are, and forget to take the time to indulge in ourselves. And lets face it, men will never understand our struggle. We have so many inner dilemmas that we have to deal with on our own every day, like (the most common struggle shared between most women) finding clothes to wear for the next day in a closet full of zero clothes, or debating whether or not you should be eating ice cream after 9 p.m. Our mind was built on worry and stress. Like when God made woman He said “and may her mind never rest”. Amen. Now I’m not saying that you should turn into a hippie and live a worry free life (no offense to hippies, one love) because some people actually strive or work best under stress or pressure, but still, if that is the case, you still need to take time to just kick back, relax, and enjoy this ride called life. Spend something on you. This does not necessarily mean spending money or going shopping (although retail therapy is highly recommended), if you are on a budget there are still plenty of ways that you can pamper yourself for a day. 1. Mani-Pedi day. Who doesn’t love to see a fresh french-tip? The good thing about mani-pedis are you can do them at home! There’s kits you can buy at your local drug store or beauty supply to do a perfect at home mani-pedi. If you want company, invite a girlfriend or two and make it a “ladies day” (drinks included, see “ladies night below). 2. Start a new read. There are so many great books out! If you’re a bookworm this will be perfect for you because true book-worms almost feel incomplete when too much time has passed between them and being lost in a good book. Reading is a great way to hide from reality for a while; it allows you to start a new adventure. If you’re looking to get lost in another world, I suggest reading the “Divergent” series by Veronica Roth. 3. Go see a movie. I know it sounds simple but think about the last time you actually went and sat in a movie theater? When you were a teenager finally. As we get older we tend to neglect or forget some of the things that helped us stay sane growing up. Teenagers are never really excited to see the movie; yet they make going to the movies a festive ritual. The excitement came from being able to get out the house, away from parents, family, etc, and to be amongst like-minded individuals where they feel they can let loose and be themselves, while being in a safe environment. So just pick a time & go, don’t choose a movie, just see what is playing when you get there and voilà you now have a new story to share. 4. The infamous “Ladies Night“. Infamous because guys think it consists of just getting drunk and having a men-bashing session. How arrogant of them to think we’d dedicate our own themed night to them. No ma’am, Ladies Night should be the exact opposite. The name explains it all. This night should consist of pink & blue margaritas or martini’s (or both), chick-flicks, dance battles, and karaoke. I can’t help but notice “men” was nowhere on that list. Ladies night is for releasing stress; it’s a time to catch up with your girls on the latest gossip, fashion, and celebrating our many accomplishments in life. However, if the topic does shift to men and your girls are becoming a little too hostile, make it brief by reminding them of this simple quote to live by: “You could never play me, Why? Bcuz I’m such a f*ckin Lady” -Remy Ma 5. Last but not least, take some time to just be alone. Just you and your thoughts. Get a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, light some candles, & treat your f*ckin self! Be your man! Play those old slow jams that made you desperately want to be in love and reminisce on how lovely life is and how far you’ve come. Relish in how much you’ve grown. The fact that you need to plan a day like this id confirmation that you are on the right path. Nothing great is accomplished in a day. Nor is it accomplished by sitting on your ass. You need a day off because you haven’t had any days off, so if nobody’s told you, you deserve it honey. There you have it. Five different ways to cater to yourself. What are you waiting for? Get a calendar and mark a day. Try to make it habit to do something for yourself to focus on your direct happiness at least once a month. I call it my selfish time, because it’s perfectly okay to be selfish with yourself sometimes😉

…More Than Just a Crush

Dear Diary,

Cliché, yes, but I have to confess…I am definitely crushing. Hard.

I feel so silly, like, why does he make me feel so giddy?

mmmm, but that walk…

This is senseless, like, why does he have this spell on me?

mmmm, and that voice…

*covers eyes & shakes head* Something about this is different..it just seems…different.  The mirages I have of us together seem a little too real. It’s almost like I’m really there..or I’ve been there before. With him. Hmmm. Maybe in another life. Maybe in another life I was the one he shared his dreams with every night, while I lay my head on his chest, and he’d softly whisper in my ear “you’re perfect” and I’d glance up at him, quick enough just to catch the emotions dance across his face..and maybe, in this other life, he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was his special somebody; his best friend and his headache all in one.

*Sigh* If only my brain would actually function around him and not rely on just my mouth because sometimes it doesn’t know what it’s saying

Signed,

-Hopeless Romantic (xoxo)

Undivided Attention: You SEXY MuthaPhucka!

Touch me, tease me.

wrap those sweet things around me.

On & on.

Such an enticing sound…

Hypnotizing.

I want more.

Tell me more…I need to hear them.

Such a tease.

Desperately hanging on every syllable.

Oh honey, that mind of yours…

Just too damn sexy.